A Lifetime of Love

TJ bought me a new camera for Christmas. . . one I've been wanting for about 10 years. I'm still learning to use it as it is an amazing camera and has lots of functions. But, here is a sample of pictures I've taken over the past couple of days. Ta at our Pastor's son's wedding T.G. Sleeping Teagan Handsome! The boys with Ron "Patch" Hamilton Rainbow, our cat

Merry Christmas! As you celebrate with loved ones, pause for a moment to reflect on the birth of the One and Only True Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Like we sang over cinnamon rolls this morning, Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Man, this has been a tiring week. The semester ended Monday night at 8:44pm (the time I handed in my last final exam) but the busyness has lasted throughout the week. The tiredness actually began late last week (well, truthfully I’ve been tired since August!) because T.G. was sick. She was running a fever that began Saturday and ended Sunday night. She had a terrible runny nose and was constantly rubbing her ear. I brought her to the doctor on Monday and low and behold, she was fine! She is teething and the doctor attributed her ear pain to her teeth. Of course, by Tuesday her nose was running clear and by Wednesday it was gone. Tuesday I accompanied my new class (the class I will be teaching starting in January) Christmas shopping. We went to Target and Chick-Fil-A. It was fun, but exhausting. The children range in age between 7 and 9, and all have cognitive disabilities. I was paired with 2 girls who have Down Syndrome, and I gotta tell ya, they are adorable! A handful, but adorable!

I seem to be in a "funk" lately. I am just really saddened by the fact that my kids are getting older. Time seems to be passing so quickly, and I feel like I have missed so much of their lives, mainly Th's. It is hard for me to remember him as an infant, toddler, or 3 year old for that matter. Speaking with friends about this, someone told me it was because I have more recent memories of my other children. In other words, with each child I have, I have memories of the "newbie" and the older memories fade. I honestly think that's the case, and I wish I could capture the time and relive certain events again. I guess I am just struggling to find time for everyone, and I don't just mean the kids, but TJ, too. We spent most of the day together (with Teagan) as a friend of mine from church kept the other children so we could go Christmas shopping. We had a great time; I, of course, laughed more today than I have in a while because my husband is such a goof.

Tomorrow begins my finals. I take my first of 5 exams in the morning. I have 2 on Thursday, 1 on Friday, and my last exam next Monday. I have reached the point in the semester where I cannot think any longer; my brain is fried and I have lost all motivation. I simply cannot learn anything else, so studying is difficult for me. It is at this point in the semester where I fully rely on the Lord for His strength and wisdom. Rather than study, all I can do is review my notes and pray the information I have been learning over the past 16 weeks comes to the forefront of my mind on exam day. Every semester I reach this point, but the Lord is faithful and has allowed me to do well in the past. I have a 4.0 Grade Point Average (GPA), and at this point, it would be nice to finish out both the semester and my degree with that GPA, but I am okay with getting a ‘B’. I am also praying about the future and what is in store for me. I planned on beginning graduate school part-time to work on my Master’

I have homework I need to do but I wanted to share about my last day of teaching. I gave my mentor teacher a snowflake Christmas ornament. I also wrote a little poem to go with it, but my printer is out of paper so I just wrote a summary of it in her thank-you card. She loved it (it was basically about how her students are unique and go through life unnoticed by the world. Just as the crystals in the snowflake grow and expand, she helps her students to do the same). My mentor teacher planned a little party for me and we had lots of goodies (brownies, peanut butter cookies, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate covered pretzels, and apple cider). The students each presented me with a card they decorated, and inside they wrote their favorite lesson I taught them. One student wrote about helping him with his exercises (we participated in a Pilates class), another wrote about using the phonebook (I taught several lessons on that topic!), a third wrote about cooking, another wrote about health

I have submitted all of my projects/assignments with the exception of one, and it is due Thursday. I am still revising my lesson plans and tweaking the assessments, and I have a little bit of time left to get it to perfection before I have to submit it. I found out about some of my final exams. Of my 6 classes, I have to take 5 finals. However, 1 is open-book/note/handout, and another is a case study about a fake student. I will be working in a small group to assess the fake student's behavior and present our strategies to the class. So, that only leaves 3 finals that I have to really study hard for. I will have to prepare for the open-book/note/handout exam in that I need to organize myself so that I can find my references when I need them. My instructor gave us a study guide last night in class and there is a ton of material I need to review and be prepared to answer questions about. Thursday is my final day of student teaching for this semester. I am trying to figure out what

I'm still here. It's been a crazy week with family visiting. My sis and Kaylee were here last weekend, and my parents and brother are here now. We've been busy doing stuff and I also had school Monday and Tuesday. Next week is my final week of school, and finals begin the week after. I have 4 huge projects due next week. I am trying to finish up writing the reports and other necessary paperwork. It's all very time-consuming. In other news, my Thanksgiving was good with the exception of one minor glitch- my microwave caught on fire! It began sparking and I told TJ so he could come and look at it. He was pre-occupied on the computer so he sort of blew me off. He only took me half-serious when I told him it was sparking. He got up, looked at it, turned it on for about 2 seconds, and said it was good to go. I believed him and turned it on again. About 15 seconds in, it sparked and black smoke came bellowing out, filling my entire first floor. My mom and dad were on a walk

I received the best news tonight when I got home from school. I received an email and in it, I found out I am going to be doing my full-time student teaching in the classroom I had hoped to be assigned. Although, in human eyes it seems this placement was by chance, I know it was all God. I have been praying about my internship situation for a few weeks now because I will be away from my kids all day. Now that I know for sure where I will be placed, I can better plan my childcare schedule for next semester and my mind is at ease. I will be close to home, the college, and the kids' schools. I feel better knowing that I am only a few minutes away, and I am so thankful the Lord answered my prayer in this way. Well, I'm off to bed!

TJ took the boys to a basketball game last night. I was surprised they stayed the entire game. I thought the boys would get bored and they'd have to leave early; I was wrong. We were up to midnight last night. I was messing around on FaceBook (I joined almost 6 months ago but never had time to mess with my profile or do anything) and TJ was watching TV. Believe it or not, I am almost caught up on homework and am even getting a little bit ahead. As the semester comes near to a close, I am losing motivation to continue to put forth perfection and find myself settling for near-perfection. I can't be perfect all the time! LOL ! :) My sis and Kaylee are coming to visit this Thursday and are staying until next Sunday. I am excited. Kaylee is growing so fast and has changed so much since I last saw her. She is pulling up on the furniture and able to stand on her own. She is so cute and I can't wait to squeeze her cheeks (yes, I am the aunt that squeezes cheeks- I love chubby c

Well, I ended up with the "bug" and was down for the count yesterday. But, I am better, as are the kids, and so far no one else is showing symptoms. Teagan had her audiologist appointment yesterday. All is well with her. Her hearing appears to be “normal” although it took a few tries to get those results. Because of her age, it is difficult to get a good reading, and I have to bring her back in 6 months to have her rechecked. I was also told to monitor her babbling and other language development as she ages for signs of a delay. On the same note, TJ took Ta to have his hearing checked at a separate appointment. As you may recall, this child has had many ear troubles. He has had 2 sets of tubes, the most recent of which he received in April. Turns out, the left tube is completely out and the right tube is clogged with fluid behind his ear. At this point he has a conductive hearing loss in his right ear, and he has to go back in Jan. to have his hearing re-checked. I am j

We all just got over colds (with the exception of Th, he still has a cough) and now a stomach bug has hit us! Ugh!!! It started with T.G. on Saturday. She seemed fine all morning and played as usual. We came home from Th’s soccer game and the kids played outside until lunch. In the middle of lunch, she vomited EVERYWHERE! TJ stripped her, and I bathed her while he cleaned up. If I haven’t shared it before, I don’t do well with vomit. I get sick at the smell of it. She vomited a couple more times after that, and had diarrhea to make matters worse. Poor baby- her bottom was raw and despite my efforts to keep her diaper fresh and apply cream after each change, it didn’t really help. It’s better today, and so is she. However, the bug met Ta at 1am this morning. Nothing like being woke up to the sound of vomit. Thankfully it was on TJ’s side of the bed. The smell alone made me gag a few times, but I worked my way through it to help TJ clean up. Ta is home with me today and I keep praying he

"The first thing I'd do as President is sign the Freedom of Choice Act. That's the first thing that I'd do." -- Senator Barack Obama, speaking to the Planned Parenthood Action Fund, July 17, 2007 I received this in an email from a friend of mine. It is difficult to look at; in fact, it kills me to look at it. I hate Planned Parenthood and all they stand for. They deceive so many women, myself included, into thinking abortion is okay and an acceptable option. IT’S NOT! I am so thankful there are crisis pregnancy centers around the country to help dispel some of the myths surrounding abortion. I just wish I had walked into one of those centers rather than Planned Parenthood. In my scared, confused state of thinking I made the worst decision of my life. Knowing I did this to my own child makes me sick to my stomach and brings tears to my eyes. BUT, more importantly, I have been forgiven in Christ and learned from my mistake. Now that Obama is President and the Senate

From this. . . to this. . . You have grown into such a big girl! You are sweet and loving, and a great big sister to Teagan. I am so thankful the Lord allowed me to be your mommy. Happy Birthday, baby girl!

Talk about convicting! I lost my patience in these past 30 hours more times than I care to acknowledge. Then I got on-line and read about moms who have recently lost their children to horrible illnesses- 1 to CDH and another to cancer. Of course, now I have tremendous guilt and wish I could have handled situations differently today. I’m sure each of those moms would give anything to have their kids back, and here I am thankful it’s bed time because the house is peaceful and I am able to sit for a minute without having to go break up an argument (or worse) between the kids. As much as I love my children, some days I think I’m going to go insane. Mothering is by far the most difficult task I have ever done. I guess the good thing about TJ going away is that I appreciate him more now. I never realized how much I need those breaks that he offers me by coming home for lunch and helping me with bedtime. Having to do it myself, I learned I could never be a single mom, or at least not a happy

Man oh man am I tired! TJ is at the Wilds this weekend for a men's retreat so I have been home with the kiddos. We went to visit the nursing home yesterday afternoon for Halloween, and then came home and ordered a pizza. While we waited for the pizza to arrive, we went through the candy and put all the stuff they aren't allowed to have (hard candy mainly) in a bowl for the trick-or-treaters who come to our neighborhood (we don't do trick-or-treating except at the nursing home- during daylight hours). They had fun periodically checking the bowl to see if it was empty. Surprisingly, most of it was gone within about 2 hours. There were only about 8 pieces or so left by the time I turned off our porch light at 8pm. This was the first time I have done that (I usually send the candy to work with TJ) and the kids had such a good time, I think I'll do it every year. Ta and T.G. aren't feeling well and both had difficulty sleeping last night. T.G. woke up at 10:15pm and I di

What a whirlwind week! We just finished up Missions Week at church, and we had 5 missionaries and their families from all over the world. We had lunch with all of them on Thursday and then hosted one family for supper on Friday night. Of all the ministries through our church, missions is my favorite, and I think my family's favorite, too. The kids have a bulletin board in their room that exclusively holds prayer cards for missionaries. The kids know each missionary on the board and love adding new prayer cards. They enjoyed learning about the people and places each of the missionaries are striving to bring the gospel to during Missions Conference this week, and we are all sad it's over. But, it was a sort of reunion for us because we got to spend time with the Kings, who used to live down the street from us but moved about a month ago to begin their church plant in Concord, North Carolina. They now live about 45 minutes from us, not too far, but not within walking distance like

I took the kids to get their picture taken. . . well, pictures of their feet, anyway. The picture turned out soooooo cute! I wish I could have been able to afford the wall-size portrait. Instead, I settled for a smaller framed version. Teagan is doing awesome. She is still sleeping great, especially at night. She has been going 5-7 hours at night, meaning TJ hasn't had to get up with her for a few days. :) I, on the other hand, am still absolutely exhausted. I haven't been getting to bed until between 11:30 and midnight, and then Teagan wakes between 3:30 and 4:30am to feed. Thursday she woke at 4:30 and didn't go back down until 5:15am. My alarm goes off at 5:30. Needless to say, I didn't go back to bed and am still suffering from the lack of sleep. I am slowly beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel as far as school work goes. I am teaching a lot and learning so much. I also had a sort of epiphany moment regarding a solution for my own kids. I can'

My favorite is the picture in the middle of her holding my finger. I also really like the top one of her tiny feet. I love my kids' feet! Call me crazy, but on Friday I am taking all the kids to have a picture made together of their feet, from biggest (Th) to smallest (Teagan). Enough for tonight- I've been doing homework and my eyes are starting to cross from looking at this computer screen for so long. Plus, I'm a wimp and TJ went to bed already so I'm downstairs alone- I hate that! Good night! *I am thankful for this precious baby, a true blessing and gift from God.*

Here is a sampling of Ta's and T.G.'s school pictures. T.G. would not smile, but at least she didn't cry like she did last year. I absolutely love their pictures; I think they turned out great!

They were both at Jeannine's wedding! The wedding was great, probably one of the best I've ever attended. It was classy, yet fun, much like Jeannine's personality. It was at a ritzy country club in the Ballentyne area of Charlotte. It was gorgeous! We sat with some friends of ours from the neighborhood, which I was glad because they all know Th so he was able to be himself. One of the evening's highlights was watching Th dance. That kid has some moves! He was making me laugh so hard I was crying! I'm not too sure where he learned his moves (a-hem! TJ !) because TJ and I don't dance around the house, but regardless, he was the hit of our table. Another highlight was when Sir Pur (the Carolina Panther's mascot) made his appearance. It was awesome! Of course we forgot our camera so the only pictures I have are from my phone but the quality is poor because I didn't have a flash. Oh well. Th thought that was the best, and it was really neat to see Sir Pur

I managed to somewhat successfully find time to study for and pass the 3 tests I had this week. I won’t get my grades until next week, but I feel confident about my overall performance- by no means a perfect score but hopefully all A’s. I meet with my advisor in about 10 days to get clearance for registration. I can’t believe this time is here already- I will soon be registering for my final semester! As stressful as this semester has been and continues to be, it really is going by quickly. I am half way through it and I still have my hair and it’s not completely gray! LOL! I am just more excited that I will soon be completely done and hold a teaching certificate in my hand. It still seems very surreal. I’m sure it will take me 6 months to recover from my “school mode” mentality once I graduate. I need to begin thinking about what to do with the rest of my life. My mentor teacher keeps telling me she wants me to come back, and I have another friend who works in a different school distr

I am struggling even more to find a balance between home and school. Teagan is such a great baby, and I really have no complaints about her. She sleeps well, waking to nurse every 3 hours. I try to time it so that she nurses around 10:30 or 11pm, and then every 3 hours after that. TJ gets the first feeding and I get the second. It gets difficult when she wakes around 5am because I wake up at 5:45am, and I usually finish nursing around 5:30am. Obviously those mornings are more difficult for me because I am waking 45 minutes earlier than I’m used to, but I overall I can’t complain. I am very thankful she takes a bottle and TJ is willing to get up with her, too. One day last week I let him sleep and took all of the feedings myself as a way to say thank you to him. Because of my school load, TJ and I had to make a difficult decision about T.G. I really didn’t want to have to send her to preschool 5 mornings per week, but it was just too difficult for me to get anything done at home with he

Here are the much anticipated pictures of Teagan that everyone's been emailing me about! :) A close up of her beautiful face. On the bilibed in the hospital. I affectionately call this her "space suit". Do you see the bright lights emanating from underneath her? It was literally like a tanning bed (except without the tan). A close up in her space suit. Look at those cheeks! :) One of Th's many birthday celebrations. This was for my benefit while I was in the hospital. My mom-in-law baked and brought cupcakes for us to celebrate. She wasn't too happy about going home! We were about to be wheeled out to the car. She calmed down and went to sleep.

Being a Special Education teacher (almost!), you know I can't resist the opportunity to brag on some very special people to me. Although I do not know the people in the video personally, I think they represent those whom I do know very well. In honor of Down Syndrome Awareness month, please watch this PSA (public service announcement) that will be airing inside Wal-Marts throughout the nation. It was because of some wonderful athletes with Down Syndrome and other cognitive disabilities that I decided to devote my life to teaching those with mental retardation. I learned a lot from them, and hopefully, through this PSA, you will learn something, too.

Teagan has been cleared of her jaundice diagnosis and I returned the bed yesterday. She slept great last night in her crib (I was a little concerned since she's been on the bilibed since birth). Her skin coloring looks great and I am enjoying just holding her, although I haven't seen her much today because of my school schedule. I am looking forward to getting home tonight; I miss her. :( I taught today and overall it went well. Today isn't the first day I've taught, but it's the first time I've implemented my own lesson. My mentor teacher observed and critiqued me, and I have some things to reflect on to improve the lesson. I learned some things and am very happy that I had the opportunity to do so; some things can't be taught, only learned through experience. This is one of those things. Well, I am headed to my last class of the day. I can't wait for 5pm to arrive- school's out!

Teagan is doing better with her jaundice. Her levels were down on Friday but rather than taking her off the bilibed now and risking her levels rising again, the doc kept her on the lights through the weekend. I have to take her back tomorrow afternoon and will more than likely return the bed. Yesterday and today have been the first we've been able to really hold her and love on her. Because of the jaundice, she had to be on the bed except for feedings. Thankfully she has taken a bottle fine (unlike T.G.) so TJ has been helping with feedings in the middle of the night. I have been nursing around 11ish, then he gets the 1ish feeding, and I get the 3 and 5ish feedings. But, since it was the weekend, I also got to sleep in until 8:30 so I don't really mind. The bilibed has been a mixed blessing. Teagan is my first child who hasn't slept with us in the beginning. I have always had the baby in bed with us to make nursing in the middle of the night easier (I have a co-sleeper so

We came home yesterday because Teagan's levels were below the 75th percentile. However, we took her back to the doctor today and she is now on photo-therapy at home because her levels have risen. It's the same type of bed as the one in the hospital, only we are at home instead of in-patient. She goes back for another re-check Friday morning. Hopefully she'll be better and we won't have to get more aggressive with her treatment. I know jaundice is common but I've never had to treat any of my kids like this, and they've all had it. It's a little scary because it's new, but I totally trust my doctor and her judgement. *I am thankful to have a pediatrician that my family loves- mom and kids, both!*

Just a quick update. . . Teagan is jaundice and spent the past 24 hours on the "bilibed" to help get her levels down. She is being assessed by the doctor as I type this and is hopefully doing well enough that we'll be able to go home today. Although she has been nursing well, she has not passed enough stools to get the excess bilirubin out of her system. Say a prayer that she is doing better today! *I am thankful for the care and attention we've received while here.*

6 years ago today I welcomed my firstborn into this world. A lot has changed in our family since then, but one constant has remained: my love for him. Th is an amazing boy, full of laughter and joy and compassion for others, animals included. He is funny, caring, smart, and as best he can, living his life for the Lord. He is an excellent big brother and for the most part puts the needs of his siblings ahead of his own. I am so proud and thankful to be his mom! Happy birthday, buddy! I love you!

Teagan Claire made her arrival at 2:48 this morning. She weighed 7 pounds, 4 ounces and was 20 inches long. Like the others at birth, she too has dark hair and lots of it! Teagan is doing well, nursing about every 4 hours or so. TJ and I took the kids on a walk yesterday to go visit our neighbor who lives behind us. She has lots of land and animals, a small farm of sorts. She recently added some ducks and chicks to her animal collection, and last week brought us some fresh eggs, one of which was green. She invited us to come by and see the hen house where the chicks live. While we were walking, I began to have some contractions. Nothing major, but they were there none the less. By the time we arrived at my neighbor’s house (we took the long way there so the kids could ride their bikes and burn up some steam), I was tired and the pressure from my belly was getting to be too much. We took the shortcut home (which is just through our backyard) and once I sat down, I was okay. We lit a cam

At this point I am not going to be induced. I have been praying about and reading Scripture to try and get peace about the situation. Yesterday during my Bible reading, the Lord brought this verse my way: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8). I really feel like the Lord has been trying to teach me patience these last few weeks, and this verse confirms my thinking. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me or this baby, and I don't want to risk jeopardizing any blessings by trying to take control of a situation that is not up to me to control. As much as I am a planner and take-charge type person, for once I am going to let God be God while I wait patiently for His perfect will to be done. *I am thankful, as always, for the opportunity to read and study my Bible.*

Tonight during my evening class my professor and classmates surprised me by throwing a baby shower, with a beautiful cake, drinks, chips, and of course gifts. It was so shocking and much appreciated. There are only 4 other students in the class besides me, so it was an intimate group and I just can't thank the girls enough. They are so sweet and, especially because they are all in their early 20s, I know the financial sacrifice they had to make in order to do this for me. I called TJ during my break to tell him what they did, and I smiled the entire class period (from 5-8pm). Here is a picture of the cake- isn't it beautiful?!

I went back to the doctor today. My cervix is "ripe and ready to go" as the doc so eloquently phrased it! The only problem? I'm still not dilating and probably won't anymore until labor starts. This is the complete opposite of my pregnancy with T.G. With her, I was dilating but my cervix wasn't ripening. I was going to be sent home from the hospital at 5cm because my cervix wasn't thinning out as quickly as the doctor thought it should be. Thankfully a very nice nurse let us stay the night because T.G. was born about 2 hours after that! Anyway, the doctor did say I was an excellent candidate to be induced if I choose to do so. I don't know what to think about that- I've never had to face that decision before! LOL! If I do decide to be induced, it won't be for 2 more weeks because the earliest the practice is comfortable inducing is at 39 weeks. Can you imagine me pregnant at 39 weeks? I surely can't!! I am torn on what to do because part of me

Th’s party was fun. He had a good time being silly with his friends. Below are a few pictures from the day. Oh, by the way, TJ pulled Th’s tooth so I have been joking with him about brushing his holes. He thinks it’s hilarious, and this morning he came in and said, “Mom, I brushed my holes already.” Still no baby. I am honestly shocked. A few weeks ago, I was having such strong, hard contractions and in the past week, they have been few and far between. I guess Taco is happy where he/she is and will arrive in his/her own time. I also think the Lord is trying to teach me patience because I am getting very impatient. My hips and joints are killing me and it is painful to walk. I thought that taking a stretching class with my students would help, and it has, but the relief is temporary. I also thought the stretching would get things going with labor, but that hasn’t happened, either! LOL! I have been trying lots of “natural” things to start labor (i.e. eating spicy foods, lots of walking)

My speech went well, and I was surprised at the turnout. There were about 150 people in attendance. I was the second speaker, and was scheduled to speak after lunch. I finished my meal and excused myself to the restroom. On the way back into the room, I quickly phoned TJ and he prayed with me to help calm my nerves. As soon as I opened the doors to the dining room, all eyes were on me- it was my turn! I promise you I wasn’t out of the room for more than 5 minutes, but apparently the first speaker gave her speech as soon as soon as I left. I was so embarrassed! At the end of the presentation, several people came up to me and congratulated me. It was nice to have the support of so many, especially because a few of them didn’t even know me. I even received an email from a current classmate this afternoon congratulating and thanking me for giving such an inspirational speech (I didn’t think it was very inspirational). It was also nice to see some former professors, classmates, and friends

Below is the draft I submitted for my speech. Hopefully I won't have to make too many changes! *************************************************** We all have many names. T. is the one given to me at birth from my parents. Other names include: sister, friend, student, Coach, and my personal favorites, wife and mom. You may be wondering what being a wife and mother of 3 ½ small children have to do with taking classes here at (insert college name). To be quite honest, my husband and children have greatly influenced my decision to pursue my education. In high school, I applied for and received a full scholarship to attend a local university upon graduation. For personal reasons, I declined the scholarship and instead enlisted in the United States Air Force as an airplane mechanic. To say my family was upset with my decision is an understatement! The September following my high school graduation, I left small town Ohio and headed to Texas for Basic Training, then shortly thereafter I w

I received this email request today from a pretty important person on campus. I am honored, but flipping out at the same time. Read below. I know that you plan to attend the Scholarship Luncheon this Friday, and we would like to have you speak on behalf of your fellow students to express appreciation to our donors. You could tell a bit about yourself and your own situation (as much as you choose) to demonstrate the need for such scholarship support. You will be one of two students speaking to the group, and between the two, you would be in a good place to represent the needs of those who are nontraditional students with family responsibilities, jobs, etc. We hope you will agree to take this on--folks in the college are very proud of you and all that you accomplish. How can I say no? Now I am working on a speech so I can turn in a draft by Wednesday morning. On a different note, my bulletin board that is due by Thursday has a little flexibility because of some circumstances out of my co

are probably the best words to describe how I am feeling lately. In all honesty, I have never felt any of these emotions to the extent that I have been feeling since yesterday. Balancing my home life and school has always been challenging, but never like this. I am second-guessing myself in every decision I make, taking me on even more of an emotional roller coaster. For instance, I needed to clean the house as I haven’t done it in 2 weeks. I decided to begin last night, and I finished up this morning. I worked my behind off to get almost everything clean. But, because of my decision to clean, I put off doing my school work until this afternoon. I regret that decision now. I spent the afternoon trying to figure out where to begin, and with each assignment I started, I can’t finish because I either need more information from my students or from my teacher. Plus I received an email today informing me that I have less than 2 weeks to prepare and teach my students a 30-45 minute lesson. N

My first day in the school was AWESOME! My mentor teacher is great, the students are wonderful, and I am so thankful the Lord put me in this particular room in this particular school. Back in the spring, when the college was giving me some difficulties about registering/taking classes this fall, I was told I would be placed in a school local to my home. However, when I received my placement letter in early August, I was placed in another town about 25 minutes away. Another girl in my class was placed at a school literally less than 1 mile from my house, and TJ suggested I look into switching with her. I am so glad that I didn't! I told him that the Lord was in control and He allowed this placement to happen the way it did (and TJ knew that, he is just thinking about my upcoming labor). When I returned to college Tuesday afternoon for my class, we had a support session to talk about/discuss our classroom placements and how the first day went. There are only 8 students in the class,