Monday, October 6, 2008

Musings from a Mom of 4

I am struggling even more to find a balance between home and school. Teagan is such a great baby, and I really have no complaints about her. She sleeps well, waking to nurse every 3 hours. I try to time it so that she nurses around 10:30 or 11pm, and then every 3 hours after that. TJ gets the first feeding and I get the second. It gets difficult when she wakes around 5am because I wake up at 5:45am, and I usually finish nursing around 5:30am. Obviously those mornings are more difficult for me because I am waking 45 minutes earlier than I’m used to, but I overall I can’t complain. I am very thankful she takes a bottle and TJ is willing to get up with her, too. One day last week I let him sleep and took all of the feedings myself as a way to say thank you to him.

Because of my school load, TJ and I had to make a difficult decision about T.G. I really didn’t want to have to send her to preschool 5 mornings per week, but it was just too difficult for me to get anything done at home with her here. Last Wednesday I was trying to just get home-stuff done (i.e. laundry, some light cleaning) and it took forever because as soon as I sat down to nurse, she “helped” me by throwing the clothes I had just folded all over the floor, she was climbing all over the furniture in the playroom, and was just all around bored. She didn’t want to color, play with puzzles, or anything she normally loves to play with. Instead, she wanted to get into everything she shouldn’t. Since she’s learned to climb up on stuff, nothing is safe, even up high. I had all the bedroom doors shut so she couldn’t get into anything there, but she still managed to get into stuff that was put on the ledge upstairs. It made nursing more difficult and timely. It was like she knew I was preoccupied with Teagan and took advantage of the situation. I was forced to put her in her crib to play while I finished nursing the baby and refolded the laundry. Obviously she can’t spend her days in her crib so the best alternative was to send her to preschool where she’s with other children her age and I can focus on school/housework in the mornings. I miss her and feel guilty about my decision, but she is excited to go and was bored at home with me, especially since Teagan’s arrival. Her and I aren’t doing as much together as we were before Teagan's arrival. Plus, I always have the option of keeping T.G. home from school if I want to spend time with her (I just couldn’t send her one extra day per week- it doesn’t work that way. I have to send her T/TH because of my school schedule and I pay for M/W/F regardless of whether she attends or not. I hope that makes sense).

This week is crazy and I am glad T.G. is at school. I have 3 midterms plus I have to give a standardized-assessment to one of my students. The test takes an hour and a half to give and I am not really looking forward to giving it. But, it will be beneficial simply because of the experience it is providing me with. I am also teaching so I have to finish my lesson plans and assessment measures.

I am looking forward to this weekend because a friend of ours is getting married. The wedding is on Saturday and we are bringing Th (and Teagan, of course) with us. I am still searching for a babysitter so hopefully that will all work out. I want to attend simply out of support for my friend, who used to be our neighbor before she got engaged and moved to Charlotte! We have known her since we moved to our house, and she has always been a great friend from day one. The kids love her and still refer to her house as Ms. Jeannine’s house, even though she doesn’t live there anymore. Other than family members, Th has never been to a wedding so he is excited about going. He feels very grown-up. We’d take Ta but he’d probably get bored during the reception and we wouldn’t be able to stay as long as we’d like. So, he and T.G. are staying home.

Well, I’m off to study. I have 2 midterms today that I need to study for. Say a prayer for me that I have clarity of thought because at this point, everything is just jumbled together in my mind. . .

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