Wednesday, August 12, 2009

What???

The last entry regarding this latest pregnancy was sort of ominous in tone. . . the "not knowing" of what was going to happen had me in a state of fear: am I about to miscarry a baby I wasn't prepared to have, or is everything okay and my dates are just off because of an inconsistent cycle? The Lord provided some answers (and much more) at my doctor's appointment this past Monday.

TJ offered to go with me but I declined since I was only meeting with a nurse to handle the insurance paperwork, schedule lab work, and set up my next appointment. However, much to my surprise, the nurse wanted to begin the appointment with an ultrasound to see where I "officially" stood: pregnant or on the verge of a miscarriage. Low and behold, the Lord had much more in store for me because as soon as the image appeared on the screen, I immediately, clearly, and distinctly saw two egg sacs with two "blobs" in the middle of each. I turned to the technician and asked, "What is this?" She smiled and nodded her head "yes." Twins!!!! I began to cry tears of joy as well as shock, and then asked how they were doing. She reassured me that both babies had good, strong heartbeats and confirmed they were 7 weeks 1 day gestational age. A huge relief and an even bigger shock. I told her I would need a picture because my husband wasn't going to believe me, and she smiled and obliged with my request.

Upon leaving the office, I so desperately wanted to share my news with TJ but not over the phone. I drove straight home and found the house empty. Ugh! I phoned him to find out where he was and his planned arrival time. He inquired about my appointment and I vaguely told him everything looked good and that I was progressing fine. I also added I wanted to share the ultrasound picture with him once he got home.

When he arrived home, he was busy doing odds and ends but I shoved the picture in his face (after attempting a more loving way!) to force him to look at it. I was prepared to have to explain what he was looking at, but again to my surprise, he immediately recognized the images he was seeing and a smile took over his face (good thing because I was shocked enough for both of us!). He asked if it was "for real" and when I confirmed it, he picked up the phone to share the news.

I, on the other hand, am excited yet nervous. I have been pregnant before. Plenty of times. I know what to expect. But, this is different. This is unknown. I am now considered "high risk" and have to go to the doctor every 2 weeks. The babies will be closely monitored and I will have many tests done to determine their health and well-being in-utero, beginning at week 12. I have had natural childbirth 3 times (meaning no drugs) and was hoping to do so again, but now I'm not so sure. I also know the chance of C-section increases with multiples, and the thought of that petrifies me. I am a wimp and proud of it! I can't stand needles (which is why I chose to give birth sans drugs) and hate pain, both of which accompany a C-section. I also nurse my children and am not sure how that will work with 2. When will I sleep? When will I eat? All of this is new to me and like many people, cause for alarm. But, as many, many, many friends have reminded me since hearing the news on Monday, God's "grace is sufficient" (2 Cor. 12:9) and that He "will not give me more than I can bear" (1 Cor. 10:13). I know God is faithful and loving and able to bear my fears, burdens, problems, whatever (Psalm 68:19). I am trusting in these promises.

I hope you will pray for these two yet-to-be-named 'T' babies as my family and I embark on this new journey together. I can't wait to see what else the Lord has in store for us. . . Updates will be on here as I go to the doctor. Along with the babies, big changes are coming to my family as a result. We need a bigger vehicle, and I need everything as far as baby gear goes because I only have enough for 1. Thankfully Christmas and my birthday are right around the corner so I may register at some places to help my parents know what to get for me. It's a bit overwhelming when I think about it too long, but again, God is in control and will provide for our needs as He always has. FYI: my next appointment was scheduled so that TJ could attend with me. Due to scheduling conflicts, it is not until Aug. 28th.

*Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. ~Psalm 127:3-5*