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Showing posts from July 1, 2011

Not as (I) Planned

I had my regularly scheduled doctor's appointment yesterday.  Once I got called back to the room, I chatted with the doc about recent blood work and testing that was completed. We then talked about my next appointment and other testing that would be done at that time. She began the exam and as usual, listened for the baby's heartbeat using the dopplar machine. Except this time, it was only my heartbeat that could be heard. She continued searching, moving the dopplar up, down, and around in an attempt to hear something. Nothing. For about 5 minutes this continued, and as she searched, she kept reassuring me that she'd find it. I just lay there, fighting back tears and praying that the Lord would spare me the heartache and pain of losing another baby. I was battling my thoughts while at the same time reminding myself that God is good, and what He does is good, and that this was for my good. It was a long, fearful few minutes for me. The doc eventually gave up searching an