A Lifetime of Love

Full acceptance hit this week. I didn’t cry (very much) and I didn’t get sad; rather, I just reached the point of acceptance. Acceptance that I am not returning to school this year, and neither are my kids. Acceptance that we will be social distancing for a long time. Acceptance that this is our new normal, and our previous normal will never return. I have come to realize that acceptance is a good thing. Acceptance brought peace and calm. It also gave me time to reflect, analyze, and think about changes I want to bring about in my life as a mom, teacher, and friend. I was able to go back and look through photos of my year in my classroom, and seeing my little people brought some BIG smiles; we had such a fun year! Acceptance also forced me to realize that there is no better time than now to pursue my goals. I want to be the best teacher I can, and in order to be that, I need to know more. When you know better, you do better. I enjoy school and learning, and I try to take advan...

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us," ~Ephesians 3:20 Today the little kids have their end-of-the-year parties at preschool. I just cannot believe how fast this year went by, and how gracious the Lord has been to us this school year, particularly to me. I keep thinking about and meditating on the above verse, and how the Lord has truly shown Himself to me through this verse not only over the course of the school year, but my entire life. He has answered so many prayers, and provided for me in ways that I never could have imagined. God really is so good despite the fact that I am so undeserving of any of His blessings. Let me share just a few of the ways the Lord has blessed and encouraged me: · Salvation- this in itself is a miracle and you can read my testimony here . · Meeting TJ- read about our life together here and here . · Miscarriage- God used my grief for His glory. Read about it ...

I just wrapped up my first week of being out of school. Surprisingly, I stayed constantly busy! I thought I would have more time to get all of my "To Do" list items completed, but I was wrong. With the few weeks of school that remain for the kids, I am trying to stay involved and volunteer. I spent time in the classroom at the preschool and Th's school this week, as well as chaperoned a field trip yesterday. We had fun and my kids are enjoying the one-on-one time with me. I am also trying to get ready for VBS. I am teaching again this year. I have the privilege of teaching the 5/6th grade boys. I am excited and need to get working on decorations for my classroom. The theme this year is "Polar Extremes." I thought I would decorate the class with a snow theme. I plan to incorporate some fake snow, if I can find it at the craft stores. Since it's almost summer, I don't know if it will be available to purchase. Despite everything else, most of my thoughts r...

Hi there! Remember me? I'm still here, struggling to get all my "paperwork" finished by tomorrow, Wednesday at the latest. Plus, it's Spring Break, and someone has at least one appointment every day. Today it was my turn. Fun. My sis and Kaylee are coming tomorrow. They were supposed to arrive last weekend but I had too much schoolwork to do. I still do. I wrote 2 assignments and submitted them. They were all wrong. I misunderstood the assignment. I had to re-write most of it. 19 pages and countless hours wasted over 1 simple word that was omitted from the directions. What word, you ask? Lesson plans that include completed assessments. I submitted my lesson plans and left out the data. I still have 2 more assignments to finish before Thursday. I also have to teach 1 lesson next Monday for my final observation. After that, I'll be DONE! Graduation is in 26 days. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!

The PT evaluation is complete; I am just waiting to go over the “official” results with Kathy (the PT) and Crystal (EI) on Thursday. Unofficially, Kathy said that Teagan has a 2-3 month delay, which doesn’t seem so bad until you consider she is just now 6 months old. It means she functions as a 3-4 month old baby- not good! It sort of took me by surprise and I really can’t help but blame myself, mostly for my lack of unavailability to “play” with her like I did with the others. On the bright side, at least I put my pride aside and was able to get her the help that she needs, and just since Friday’s meeting with Kathy, I have already seen some progress. Teagan has learned that she can roll from her side to her back by using her arm for momentum. It may seem like a small feat, but it’s a step closer to rolling over. Also, she has been grabbing her feet more, and she enjoys playing “Peek-a-Boo” and me singing the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and “Pat-a-Cake” using her legs. I had her sitting for a...

Wow~ it’s been a long time since I’ve posted. I had intentions to update more frequently but, simply put, other obligations take precedence over this blog. The point of this entry- Teagan. As you may recall, I was trying to get Teagan into BabyNet. Teagan qualified to receive services through BabyNet. An intake nurse came to our house, evaluated and scored her according to her age and ability, and informed me the next day that she qualified. We were assigned an Early Interventionist (EI), and last Friday Crystal called (she will be Teagan’s EI). At this point Teagan’s development is not terribly behind those of same-age babies, but there is enough of a lag to warrant services. Two days ago Crystal came over to meet us. She and I, along with Teagan, met and discussed some goals. The goals were then written into an Individualized Family Services Plan (IFSP), which is part of the special education law that covers children ages birth to 3. With my experience in the school district, I deal...

I need to update my blog about many things, but school is taking precedence at the moment. I will be back sometime, although I am headed to a ladie's retreat with my church at the Wilds this weekend for some much needed time alone with the Lord. The update might not be until next week. Take care until then. . .

I am so mentally and physically exhausted I cannot even begin to describe it. I have so many demands placed on me this semester that it is more taxing than anticipated. I wish my family and I could take a vacation and just get away. Alone. Away from school. Away from the house. Away from the chaos that seems to be never-ending. I think part of my frustration is that I am almost half way through the semester but I do not get a break like I normally would. I observe spring break this year at the same time as the school district. Good in that I will be home when my kids are home, but bad because I am finished with the semester one week later. Ugh. 6 more weeks to go until I get a break! I feel like the groundhog who just saw his shadow! I am being observed a few times over the next 2 weeks. I hate being observed, particularly because this is my "mid-term evaluation" and I am graded, but I'll get through it. It just makes for more stress because I have to make sure my lesson ...

I have found, and been taught through countless university courses, that the difference between a good teacher and a great teacher is reflection: reflection on the lesson, student learning, and ways the teacher can improve. Perhaps I have taken this to heart because I tend to apply it in all areas of my life, not just in my teaching. Which is a mixed blessing, I suppose. I know I need to improve as a wife and mother, and I definitely need work on being a better source of encouragement for my friends, particularly because I allow the busyness of my life to sometimes get the best of me. However, dear friends, I would like you to know I think of you often and pray for you regularly despite my lack of communication with you. I will try better, especially at responding to emails as that seems to be the area that needs to improve the most. There has been a lot going on in my family’s life lately that I have not shared. Not that I didn’t want to, it’s just simply been a lack of time to relay ...

So my husband felt like my birthday was not all that he wanted it to be because our dinner was not "the best". Dinner was okay, just not worth the price we paid per meal. Anyway, today he surprised me by sending a dozen roses to my school. Is that not the sweetest thought ever? I was so shocked, especially because it was so unexpected! That's what I love about him- the little thoughtful things he does for me. I just happened to be in the main office talking to the secretary when the FedEx man made a delivery. I turned to walk back to my class when she told me the package was a delivery for me. I immediately corrected her since my mentor teacher and I have similar last names and said, "You mean Mrs. _____?" And she said, "No, it's for you. I promise." I felt my face match the same shade of red as my shirt, and I opened it right then. The flowers are beautiful, and there was also a package of chocolates (chocolate- my favorite!). I left the flowers o...

Everyone is sick with a cold in my house this weekend. I don't know who started it, but it's made its way to all of us in some form or another. Th and T.G. have been running low-grade fevers, and all of us have coughs and runny noses. Gross! I think T.G. has it the worst, though. She just looks miserable and hasn't been sleeping well at all. Of course, she wakes in the middle of the night during times that I am nursing, meaning TJ has to console her since I have Teagan . No big plans this weekend and for that I am very grateful! We definitely need a break from our chaotic schedules to just rest and stay put. School is very time-consuming for me (between teaching during the day and taking university courses in the evening) so I welcome the opportunity to plan and prepare lessons for next week, as well as work on my university assignments. My supervisor is coming to observe me on Wednesday so I need to make sure my lesson plan is perfect and I am fully prepared mentally for ...

Just as quickly as the snow came, it was gone. We had very little, but school was cancelled nonetheless. I was grateful, though, because it was another day for me to catch up on some housework. Now that I am gone all day, my normal “chores” are put on hold until the weekend, meaning the weekends are now jam-packed with housework, planning lessons, and completing university assignments. I have honestly never been so tired in my life! Well, actually, Basic Training was pretty comparable in that I rarely slept! I have been thinking long and hard about my life, about TJ’s life, this past week. I don’t really know why. Perhaps because of my recent birthday. I just know we had a conversation (well, several times we’ve had this conversation) and I keep thinking about how true it is. We often talk about the Air Force, and when we meet people for the first time or when it somehow comes out in conversation that we met while in the AF, people are really shocked. I don’t know why- it doesn’t seem ...

I really love my class, and although it’s only ending the second week, the students are already wiggling their way into my heart. They are each so special and offer so much to this world simply by being themselves. They each have their own personalities, and each day I spend with them, I learn about their interests, likes, and dislikes. They are so funny and remind me so much of my own kids, particularly the boys. The kids come from varied home lives and I understand (or at least I think I do) how teachers get burnt out. All teachers have to accept and understand where their students are coming from, but it is imperative in the field of special education because the students require so much more support in order to be successful in school. To do that, we have to work directly with the parents. It’s hard, especially when the parents are struggling themselves. Some of these kids come from homes that are stressed beyond belief. There is one student in particular who has really been weighi...

Today was the first day of my internship in the school. What can I say- I felt like I spent the day with my own kids! There are 8 students, and it's amazing how similar children are. After lunch, one girl did not want to be in her stander (see image below) as she is getting used to being more independent. Obviously, when she's in her stander, she can't go anywhere, and that flat out made her mad. So she cried, then she screamed, and I felt like I was at home with my 2 year old! :) Later, I worked with 2 other students on their math lesson. We were counting wooden rings, and as they counted one, they had to place it on a dowel. Again, I felt like I was at home working with my 3 year old. Their frustration levels are about the same. :) After helping with their math, I helped some other students with their reading. I was read 3 books by a girl with Down Syndrome. She just recently began reading (like this week!) so she was thrilled to show off her skills. Once again, as I ...

. . . but I'm not. I have a cold, and as the day wears on, I seem to be feeling worse. My bones ache, my throat is scratchy, and I'm exhausted. Plus, I am reading a novel, something I haven't done since the summer of 2007. A friend of mine recommended it, and it's a tear- jerker ! It's called "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" by Kim Edwards, and it's about a girl with down syndrome growing up in the late 60s early 70s, during a time when people with disabilities were still institutionalized at birth. It's really tugging at my heart-strings, and I want to finish it before Monday when the craziness of the semester starts up again. I had Teagan at the doc today for a weight check, and I brought the book to read while I was waiting. The nurse saw it in Teagan's carrier when she called us back, and we began talking about it. The book was published in 2005, so it's not new, and I guess it's also a movie. The nurse said she read the book ...

Man, this has been a tiring week. The semester ended Monday night at 8:44pm (the time I handed in my last final exam) but the busyness has lasted throughout the week. The tiredness actually began late last week (well, truthfully I’ve been tired since August!) because T.G. was sick. She was running a fever that began Saturday and ended Sunday night. She had a terrible runny nose and was constantly rubbing her ear. I brought her to the doctor on Monday and low and behold, she was fine! She is teething and the doctor attributed her ear pain to her teeth. Of course, by Tuesday her nose was running clear and by Wednesday it was gone. Tuesday I accompanied my new class (the class I will be teaching starting in January) Christmas shopping. We went to Target and Chick-Fil-A. It was fun, but exhausting. The children range in age between 7 and 9, and all have cognitive disabilities. I was paired with 2 girls who have Down Syndrome, and I gotta tell ya, they are adorable! A handful, but adorable!...

Tomorrow begins my finals. I take my first of 5 exams in the morning. I have 2 on Thursday, 1 on Friday, and my last exam next Monday. I have reached the point in the semester where I cannot think any longer; my brain is fried and I have lost all motivation. I simply cannot learn anything else, so studying is difficult for me. It is at this point in the semester where I fully rely on the Lord for His strength and wisdom. Rather than study, all I can do is review my notes and pray the information I have been learning over the past 16 weeks comes to the forefront of my mind on exam day. Every semester I reach this point, but the Lord is faithful and has allowed me to do well in the past. I have a 4.0 Grade Point Average (GPA), and at this point, it would be nice to finish out both the semester and my degree with that GPA, but I am okay with getting a ‘B’. I am also praying about the future and what is in store for me. I planned on beginning graduate school part-time to work on my Master’...

I have homework I need to do but I wanted to share about my last day of teaching. I gave my mentor teacher a snowflake Christmas ornament. I also wrote a little poem to go with it, but my printer is out of paper so I just wrote a summary of it in her thank-you card. She loved it (it was basically about how her students are unique and go through life unnoticed by the world. Just as the crystals in the snowflake grow and expand, she helps her students to do the same). My mentor teacher planned a little party for me and we had lots of goodies (brownies, peanut butter cookies, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate covered pretzels, and apple cider). The students each presented me with a card they decorated, and inside they wrote their favorite lesson I taught them. One student wrote about helping him with his exercises (we participated in a Pilates class), another wrote about using the phonebook (I taught several lessons on that topic!), a third wrote about cooking, another wrote about health...

I have submitted all of my projects/assignments with the exception of one, and it is due Thursday. I am still revising my lesson plans and tweaking the assessments, and I have a little bit of time left to get it to perfection before I have to submit it. I found out about some of my final exams. Of my 6 classes, I have to take 5 finals. However, 1 is open-book/note/handout, and another is a case study about a fake student. I will be working in a small group to assess the fake student's behavior and present our strategies to the class. So, that only leaves 3 finals that I have to really study hard for. I will have to prepare for the open-book/note/handout exam in that I need to organize myself so that I can find my references when I need them. My instructor gave us a study guide last night in class and there is a ton of material I need to review and be prepared to answer questions about. Thursday is my final day of student teaching for this semester. I am trying to figure out what ...

I received the best news tonight when I got home from school. I received an email and in it, I found out I am going to be doing my full-time student teaching in the classroom I had hoped to be assigned. Although, in human eyes it seems this placement was by chance, I know it was all God. I have been praying about my internship situation for a few weeks now because I will be away from my kids all day. Now that I know for sure where I will be placed, I can better plan my childcare schedule for next semester and my mind is at ease. I will be close to home, the college, and the kids' schools. I feel better knowing that I am only a few minutes away, and I am so thankful the Lord answered my prayer in this way. Well, I'm off to bed!