Monday, January 19, 2009

It's supposed to snow

And I have mixed feelings about that. The snow depresses me in some ways. It makes me think back to my "old" life, the life I left in Ohio all those years ago but yet can't seem to fully get away from. I know my past will always be a part of me, but lately I can't help but long to escape it. Perhaps it's because of tomorrow. Obama coming into power, and the world crumbling once that happens. Although I know it won't happen instantaneously, I do believe it will be quick. I grieve for those women who believe the lies being fed to them about women's rights, equality, and most importantly, abortion. Abortion destroyed my life and my baby's life. Oh how I wish things were different, at least in that aspect. It's times like this that I find myself in constant turmoil, eyes misty with tears and a heart tender to the Lord, begging for forgiveness yet again. When does it stop? When does the pain, guilt, and sense of loss go away?