Friday, May 18, 2007

The Amazing Mom

I am a little misty-eyed as I write today. Carole’s blog entry from last night really touched me. I have been thinking about it since I read it because I have been replaying in my mind various trials and hardships that I have gone through over the past few years. I consider myself a strong woman, and having since experienced certain life situations, I feel relatively grounded in my faith and know I have gotten closer in my walk with the Lord. But, as I read and re-read Carole’s words, I found myself second-guessing myself. Am I as strong as I think I am? If I were in her situation, would I respond in the same manner and with the same strength? I don’t know, and I selfishly pray I don’t ever have to find out. But, by thinking about this, the Lord allowed me to reflect upon the ways He has cared for me over the years.

I know, I know. I’ve written before about the Lord’s provision and healing for me, but I cannot find the words to express my true feelings of gratitude for all that God has done. For instance, today was Th’s last day of preschool for the year. We presented the teachers with their scrapbooks, and I included pictures of Th when he had his cast. Besides my childhood upbringing and miscarriage, his cast “tragedy” was a huge hardship for me at the time. Of course now that it’s over, it’s easy for me to go back and see the Lord’s hand throughout the entire ordeal, but even as I tell and re-tell the cast story, it is still very shocking that we made it through.

I had a newborn and a 2-year old in a full-body cast. Plus, once the cast came off, Th had to learn how to walk again, only unlike a baby, he had the fear of falling and understood the consequences of falling (a broken leg!) I guess I am just very happy and grateful that I know the Lord and can experience His grace and mercy in my life. I remember my life before knowing Him, and I prefer to experience the peace of knowing Him now as opposed to before.

If you haven’t yet read Carole’s entry, I urge you to do so. It’s hard to believe a year has passed, and I remember sitting in church on a Wednesday night for prayer service when my good friend Joanna told Carole’s story. Since I was pregnant, my heart broke for her and her family. I could have easily been Carole, and because of her situation, I personally grew closer to God through prayer. I prayed for her, for baby Joseph, and for my baby (I didn’t yet know it was a girl). All through Carole’s pregnancy I prayed, and wrote Carole a 5 page letter after she delivered Joseph.

I remember the day she delivered Joseph. I was with Joanna and her family at a T-n-T event. Every time the cell phone rang, we anxiously awaited the news. I remember sleepless nights leading up to Joseph’s birth, thinking about Carole sitting in the hospital not being able to hold her baby. I pictured her in my mind in the middle of the night sitting in the glider that’s in the hospital room crying inconsolable. I thought and prayed for those who would care for her while she was in the hospital, and I cried and cried and cried some more. To say Carole has impacted me is an understatement, and I look forward to the day that she and her family come to South Carolina to visit Joanna and her family. I cannot wait to meet this woman whom I admire and care for. Carole has allowed me to spiritually grow in ways I never thought possible- thank you!