A Lifetime of Love

I am writing this post because I hope it will encourage others. To be quite honest, I am about to reveal some of my innermost thoughts and feelings that I have been struggling with. I only recently shared them with TJ because of the shame I felt about having them, but my heart was hurting and I didn't like keeping them from him. I thought I was "over" my grief about losing the twin and accepted God's plan for my life, but upon finding out an acquaintance was pregnant with twins, my grief returned in full force. Instead of feeling joy for her, I was crying for myself. I found myself watching Annie, studying her and imagining what my life would be like if there were two of her running around. And the more I thought of this life, the angrier with God I became for not allowing me to have it. The anger grew into bitterness, and before I knew it, I found myself with my back turned to Him, not wanting to even consider His way for my life. I was no longer reading my bible,...

Life has been busy, to say the least. My time is spent caring for my children, my husband, & my household. Interwoven in there was a visit from my mom and a week off of work for TJ. Some of the tasks that TJ & I have managed to accomplish in the past 3 weeks include: - sorting through the boys' clothes to pack away or donate - sorting through Taryn's clothes to determine what she needs - unpacking boxes leftover from when we moved (over 18 months ago!) and sorting through the items - donating bags of adult and children's clothing, toys, blankets, and "stuff" to Tender Hearts - hanging pictures in the kids' bedrooms - transitioning Annie from a crib to a twin bed and moving the crib into T.G.'s room for Taryn to use Simply put, I have been busy purging and organizing my house. My goal is to go through each room and closet in an attempt to declutter and maximize space. My anxiety level was pretty high because of the disarray the house was in...

For us, 2011 was a year of learning… Thomas (9) learned to serve others by volunteering to gather and take out the garbage at a local pregnancy center.   He reports for duty every Monday and greatly enjoys the work! He also learned the value of a dollar as he worked for several neighbors and friends doing yard work and house/pet sitting this past spring and summer to earn money for art camp. Thomas is continuing to work and save his money as he plans to go with our church’s youth group to The Wilds Christian Camp in the mountains of North Carolina for one week this upcoming summer. We are excited about how the Lord will work in his life, especially while at camp. Tanner (6 ½) is learning to read in school. It has been fun to witness him read words on his own as we drive around town. He has also begun to read more books to his younger sisters, which is a great help to me! This summer and fall, Tanner learned to operate the lawn mower and leaf blower. If you know Tanner well, you...

Here is our most recent family picture. I am including it in our Christmas card...if I can ever find the time to write them! Life for me has become even busier than it was before. I am struggling to find a balance between my expectations and reality of what I can accomplish in a day. My "To Do" list is so long and yet it seems I spend all my time between laundry, dishes, and caring for children. It is discouraging to see my list get longer instead of shorter, but I know soon enough a routine will be established and life will get back to "normal," whatever that was. On a different note, Taryn is gaining weight quickly because she eats so often! During the day, she goes about 2 hours between feedings. However, starting around 8pm, she feeds about every hour and a half. I am nursing her but find myself giving her bottles of formula more and more because she just doesn't seem satisfied, even after nursing for 30 minutes or more. On the bright side, the kids (...

My dad and a close family friend (Donna) drove down from Ohio to visit us for Thanksgiving. They arrived around 1:30pm on Thanksgiving day. After some playtime with Grandpa and a tour of the house for Donna, the younger kids settled down for naps while Th and the adults chatted and  I finished up dinner preparations. We ate our Thanksgiving meal around 4:30pm, I cleaned up and then prepared dessert while the kids and other adults played outside, enjoying the unseasonably warm temperatures. Shortly before 7pm the kids came in and began their bedtime routines of showers/baths. We then sat and enjoyed a variety of desserts prepared by both Donna and myself. Once dessert was over, bedtime for the kids was not far behind, and by 8:30pm all of the adults were gathered in the living room for the evening. The busyness of the day left me exhausted and as I sat watching TV and chatting with the family, I realized I was having mild contractions...

Teagan is not known for her grace and poise. I can't count the number of times she has bumped her head, some worse than others. She had two goose-eggs on her forehead within 3 months of each other because of falls that were only stopped by her head pounding the ground.  Simply put, she is quite the klutz! TJ picked her up from preschool on Monday afternoon to find her crying. Apparently she had just had an incident in the playroom where she was running and ran into another child. Upon their collision, she fell and hit her forehead on the floor. There was no bump, not even a mark, but she was pretty upset. TJ brought her home and we proceded to try to calm her down so she could eat lunch. As soon as she was sitting in her chair, she began to vomit. We knew then that she needed to be seen by a doctor. I called her pediatrician and they recommended we take her straight to the ER. TJ gathered Teagan and had Th go with him to try to keep her awake and talking in the car. In the mean...