A Lifetime of Love

Just as quickly as the snow came, it was gone. We had very little, but school was cancelled nonetheless. I was grateful, though, because it was another day for me to catch up on some housework. Now that I am gone all day, my normal “chores” are put on hold until the weekend, meaning the weekends are now jam-packed with housework, planning lessons, and completing university assignments. I have honestly never been so tired in my life! Well, actually, Basic Training was pretty comparable in that I rarely slept! I have been thinking long and hard about my life, about TJ’s life, this past week. I don’t really know why. Perhaps because of my recent birthday. I just know we had a conversation (well, several times we’ve had this conversation) and I keep thinking about how true it is. We often talk about the Air Force, and when we meet people for the first time or when it somehow comes out in conversation that we met while in the AF, people are really shocked. I don’t know why- it doesn’t seem ...

I really love my class, and although it’s only ending the second week, the students are already wiggling their way into my heart. They are each so special and offer so much to this world simply by being themselves. They each have their own personalities, and each day I spend with them, I learn about their interests, likes, and dislikes. They are so funny and remind me so much of my own kids, particularly the boys. The kids come from varied home lives and I understand (or at least I think I do) how teachers get burnt out. All teachers have to accept and understand where their students are coming from, but it is imperative in the field of special education because the students require so much more support in order to be successful in school. To do that, we have to work directly with the parents. It’s hard, especially when the parents are struggling themselves. Some of these kids come from homes that are stressed beyond belief. There is one student in particular who has really been weighi...

And I have mixed feelings about that. The snow depresses me in some ways. It makes me think back to my "old" life, the life I left in Ohio all those years ago but yet can't seem to fully get away from. I know my past will always be a part of me, but lately I can't help but long to escape it. Perhaps it's because of tomorrow. Obama coming into power, and the world crumbling once that happens. Although I know it won't happen instantaneously, I do believe it will be quick. I grieve for those women who believe the lies being fed to them about women's rights, equality, and most importantly, abortion. Abortion destroyed my life and my baby's life. Oh how I wish things were different, at least in that aspect. It's times like this that I find myself in constant turmoil, eyes misty with tears and a heart tender to the Lord, begging for forgiveness yet again. When does it stop? When does the pain, guilt, and sense of loss go away?

Do you like my new background? I like it- it represents me in so many ways. I love daisies, scrapbooking, and the color blue. Let me know what you think.

My birthday was great. Being 29 again hasn’t been too bad, granted it is only the 2nd day! For my birthday, TJ and the boys prepared breakfast in bed. I tried my best to ignore T.G.’s crying downstairs as he had her contained to her high chair so he could focus on the other boys. She was not very pleased with that arrangement, and she made sure the entire neighborhood knew how unhappy she was! But, breakfast was excellent and a wonderful start to a day full of laundry and picking up around the house. My MIL and SIL came over about 4:30pm and TJ and I went out to celebrate my being 29 again. TJ is not the best when it comes to directions so I had to help him get to where we were going, but I didn’t know the name of it. Make sense? We pulled up to a restaurant called Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, a place I’ve never been to let alone heard of. We had a quiet dinner of steak, shrimp, lobster tail, and potatoes, and the food was good, although the company was better. TJ and I really don’t get mu...

Today was the first day of my internship in the school. What can I say- I felt like I spent the day with my own kids! There are 8 students, and it's amazing how similar children are. After lunch, one girl did not want to be in her stander (see image below) as she is getting used to being more independent. Obviously, when she's in her stander, she can't go anywhere, and that flat out made her mad. So she cried, then she screamed, and I felt like I was at home with my 2 year old! :) Later, I worked with 2 other students on their math lesson. We were counting wooden rings, and as they counted one, they had to place it on a dowel. Again, I felt like I was at home working with my 3 year old. Their frustration levels are about the same. :) After helping with their math, I helped some other students with their reading. I was read 3 books by a girl with Down Syndrome. She just recently began reading (like this week!) so she was thrilled to show off her skills. Once again, as I ...

. . . but I'm not. I have a cold, and as the day wears on, I seem to be feeling worse. My bones ache, my throat is scratchy, and I'm exhausted. Plus, I am reading a novel, something I haven't done since the summer of 2007. A friend of mine recommended it, and it's a tear- jerker ! It's called "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" by Kim Edwards, and it's about a girl with down syndrome growing up in the late 60s early 70s, during a time when people with disabilities were still institutionalized at birth. It's really tugging at my heart-strings, and I want to finish it before Monday when the craziness of the semester starts up again. I had Teagan at the doc today for a weight check, and I brought the book to read while I was waiting. The nurse saw it in Teagan's carrier when she called us back, and we began talking about it. The book was published in 2005, so it's not new, and I guess it's also a movie. The nurse said she read the book ...

Well, I wasn't going to say anything until I knew with certainty, but the reason for my tiredness. . . NO! I'm not pregnant (I know that's what you were thinking!) There is something going on with my thyroid. All I know at this point is that my thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH) is out of whack. I have to go for an ultrasound of my thyroid, but because of my school schedule, I won't be able to go until spring break- which is in April. I am part of the Veterans Healthcare System through the VA. They cover everything except maternity, so I have a local, private-practice OB/GYN. I also have a private-practice family doctor because the local VA out-patient clinics are so full, making it difficult to be seen when ill. The only other option is to drive to the Veterans hospital in Columbia, and I'd pay more in gas and drive time than to pay a $10 co-pay and prescription cost if seen locally at my private doctor. Anyway, I go see my VA provider twice a year simply for a rout...

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I have not been feeling myself lately. Extremely tired despite sleeping fairly well. Teagan pretty much sleeps through the night, only waking occasionally to nurse before 6am. Ta, on the other hand, wakes up every night and comes in our room, sometimes even wiggles his way in the bed with us. This has been happening since July, and we've tried everything. I can count on 1 hand the number of nights he's slept the entire night in his bed since then. At first I thought something was wrong with him, but now I know it's just habit. I had hoped to resolve it over my school break, but time slipped away from me. Although I didn't accomplish all that I had hoped to, TJ and I did manage to get some major purging out of the way. The kids and I got rid of 3 boxes and 2 garbage bags full of toys, books, puzzles, games, etc. before Christmas, and the items that were in good condition we gave to a family in need. I do not know the family, but a f...