Taylor Ann is five months old today. She is getting so big so quickly! She, like her sisters, sucks her left thumb. I don't know what it is about that left thumb, but it must taste extra-special for all 3 of them to do it! She is also rolling from side-to-side now that she has discovered her feet. I must say, I just love this age! She is, for the most part, a very content baby who greatly enjoys watching the others play around her. T.G. just simply adores her and affectionately calls her, "That baby."
Ironically enough, today is also the one-year mark that I found out I was pregnant with twins. I have very mixed emotions today. I am sooo thankful to have this beautiful, healthy, happy baby girl but I am saddened by the fact that her twin is not on this earth with us.
I still look at the ultrasound picture and remember the shock and disbelief of it all. My, how my life has changed in a year! God has been so good and gracious to me, but in getting to this high-point in my life, I had to go through some valleys. The road was hard and long, and some days I still stumble, but along the way I am changing into His image.
I know what it means to "die to self" in that I had to let my own dreams of how my life should be die so that Christ could fulfill His purpose in me. Some days are easier than others. I'm just being honest. I would be lying if I said I never thought about Twin A or my other babies who are in Jesus' arms. But, it is what it is and I can't change it. I'm thankful for that. I doubt I would be able to see the blessings God has given me with the same clarity if the "mountains" were not interspersed with the "valleys."
*Psalm 34:1- "I will bless the Lord at ALL times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth."