This week was somewhat better than last in certain aspects,
but it also brought its fair share of difficulties.
TJ wasn’t feeling well most of this week so that meant I was
a single parent for 90% of the week. Let that sink in- 9 kids for 90% of the
day, 24/7. There were a few times where
I was able to get some time to myself, for which I am thankful, but I am ready
for this entire situation to be done and over.
Trying to balance schoolwork, housework, cooking, sibling squabbles, and
children is challenging and often overwhelming for me. I cried daily in the shower, sometimes in
the middle of day, and even before bed depending on the day I had.
I realize I am sounding very negative so let me add there
were a few bright spots in my week. The
first was on Tuesday when I got to see most of the students in my class. Let me share the backstory (since there
really isn’t much else to do these days): prior to all the school closures, my
class was writing a book together to be published. We had all the writings
completed and were planning to do the illustrations the week of St. Patrick’s
Day (so, during SDW1). Obviously with school closing that didn’t happen. It made me sad to think that our school year
was ending so abruptly and with so many unfinished plans and projects. I decided to email the parents to see if they
would be willing to meet me to get the special book paper so each child could
complete their illustrations. All the parents agreed, which thrilled me!
Tuesday afternoon we met at the school parking lot and I was able to see and
talk to those who were there (from a safe distance, of course). Everyone was thrilled to see each other! Friday, I collected their pages and I was able
to see some of those who weren’t there on Tuesday. The best news is that our book is complete,
and I sent it off to the publisher!
The second bright spot was Thursday evening. I put my
children to bed and was able to video chat with other moms. I ended up staying
on for 4 hours! It was nice to share struggles and ideas with other moms. I
have missed outside interaction despite taking walks around my neighborhood. My
friend Vanessa said it best when she said she never knew it was possible to be
surrounded by people (our families) yet feel so alone. I couldn’t agree more! Thursday’s video chat allowed me to get some much-needed
connection.
Another bright spot was on Friday. After I picked up all the book pages at
school, I had a video chat with my class.
We all talked about the various ways we have been trying to keep busy
and pass the time. Some showed off some
new skills and others just sat and listened.
The best part was when one of my students asked me to read a story. I wasn’t prepared so I quickly grabbed the
first book I could find in my stash of school stuff. Ironic, but the book was about friendship and
the importance of having friends. It was
a great opportunity to discuss why we couldn’t all be together in school, and I
reassured them I loved them, and we would be together again at some point. When I hung up, I had to take a few minutes
to cry because I just miss those kids, our class and routine, and the mental
relief teaching school brings me.
Friday evening, again after I put the kids to bed, I was
able to video chat with some more friends of mine. We are used to seeing each other every
weekend so SD has been hard, particularly in that regard. We had fun just hanging out and talking,
taking silly pictures using the filters on our phones. I hope we make this our new Friday night
routine just to give me something to look forward to.
What I learned during SDW2:
- · The snack bag idea was wonderful! The kids loved it, and I loved that I didn’t have to make another decision regarding approved snacks throughout the day whenever various children asked. I am definitely doing that again.
- · Schooling my 1st grader is still a challenge despite having activities for the little boys. A lot of my tears this week were due to the stress of schooling during the day and trying to keep up with assignments, video chat times for all the kids, video chat codes for all the kids, and checking progress on the middle- and high-schoolers. I never was able to catch up on the 1st grader’s work so thankfully the teacher gave us Thursday and Friday as make up days. We had a solid 3 hours of school each of those days just to catch up because we had gotten so far behind. I think this week I am going to assign the older kids to 30-minute time slots where they must take a break from their schoolwork to play with the little boys to allow me to focus on Ruthie’s schoolwork.
- · I need an hour each day to myself. I need to be able to not have any responsibility for at least an hour for my own sanity. I have been on the verge of a mental breakdown a few times this past week and honestly, I am struggling. Trying to keep the kids quiet during the day while TJ works is challenging, schooling, and all the other “stuff” I do to keep our household running is taking its toll. I am hoping now that TJ is feeling better, things will be a little different.
- · I need sleep, and I need to figure out a way to get it. Tobias has not been sleeping well and as a result, I have not, either. I have been getting between 3.5 – 6 hours of sleep depending on the night. I am physically and mentally tired.
- · The kids need to leave the neighborhood, even if only for a drive around town. The change of scenery does us all good, and a surprise treat from the drive-thru is just icing on the cake. This is something I will do again, probably at least twice each week so long as we are permitted to go out.
This wraps up SDW2 in our house. How is everyone else managing? Am I the only
one struggling so much? I see pictures on social media of smiling, happy kids
and adults and wonder what I am doing wrong. My kids miss their friends, I miss
my friends, and we are sick of being together.
There are only so many places one can go to get away from others, and
that is part of the struggle. I would love to hear how others are doing and activities
or ideas that are helping you/your family as you isolate yourselves from
others.
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