Skip to main content

16 weeks

I can't believe I am 4 m0nths pregnant today. When I found out about the twins, I was expecting to be big from the start. Things started out that way (I was in maternity clothes by week 9) but they seem to have leveled out. I haven't gained any weight and have actually lost a couple of pounds. I'm eating, but obviously burning everything I consume. I mostly attribute it to being busy and caring for my other children, although grief has shared in part.

I went back to the doc for blood work (genetic testing) on Thursday. It was difficult to walk into the office. The front office staff immediately inquired about how I was doing and that was nice, but I of course teared up. I had to keep my composure, though, because I had my 3 little ones with me. I didn't want to start crying in front of them. T.G. saw me cry one time and since then, she is constantly asking me if I am sad. I didn't see the doc but I go back in 2 weeks for my u/s. I have mixed feelings about that appointment and am so grateful TJ will be there with me for it. I can't bear to have another u/s and find out more bad news when I am alone. It was so difficult when I found out about the baby that day (already 2 weeks ago). I could barely walk I was so upset and I had to check out and then drive myself home. I was crying so hard I could hardly see the road. The Lord obviously protected me on that drive!

Tonight at prayer time Th started us out as he always does. It was so sweet and thoughtful, a true reflection of his personality: "Dear God, be with Brandon (boy in our church who has cancer) and help his hair not to fall out. If it did already, help it to grow back quickly so his head doesn't get cold. Also help Mommy's baby not to die because I really want to see it. . ." I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry!

On a different note, we are in the process of having Teagan evaluated for speech therapy. She is not saying much, only "Ma ma" but not in a meaningful way. She says it in babbling. She also says "ba", but it, too, is not attached to any meaning. When I took her to her well-check, the pediatrician recommended she go ahead and get evaluated now rather than waiting. I told him Ta didn't talk until he was almost 2. He said since Teagan has had delays in other areas she more than likely has a speech delay, as well. Crystal, our EI, is in the process of contacting a fabulous S/LP who works with my friend's daughter. I am hoping she is available to come to our house as our schedule stays pretty full.

Well, I guess that's about it. Trying to focus on the Lord and His blessings in my life rather than the "what ifs" and "should have beens" that I can't change. Each day, each moment rather, is a choice I have to make and sometimes I do good and sometimes I don't. I am thankful for the Lord's patience and mercy and grace with me as I endure this trial. I know I am not alone in this type of situation but often times it feels like it. I am learning to trust God's truths more as a result of this trial, and I will come through this stronger and better able to minister to others. For now, my heart is open and tender to the Lord and His work in my life.

Praying for brighter days ahead. . .

* "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." ~ Philippians 1:21

Comments

Martha Compton said…
Terra-
You HAVE to get Crystal to hook you up with Susan for speech. She is amazing.

Popular posts from this blog

Thursday Thirteen #3

Thirteen Things about South Carolina Mom 13 jobs I have held. . . 1. Special Olympics Swim Coach Best job ever and very rewarding! 2. Preschool/Youth swim instructor My first job (I volunteered until I got hired on at the Y, then I was paid.) 3. Lifeguard This was my first paid job. 4. Crew Chief/aircraft mechanic on the KC-10 I loved it- I saw the world on this plane and pushed myself the farthest mentally and physically I ever have or ever will again. Of course I missed my family and friends, but if I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. 5. Debrief personnel I talked with aircrews after they landed about their flight/mission. I learned the logistical side of flying. 6. Tool Crib personnel I gave the mechanics tools for various jobs needed to fix the airplane. I also inventoried and ordered new tools, and that was fun. Until this job, I had no idea that tool companies have a representative drive around in a truck full of tools for people to use and try. It was during t...

Thursday Thirteen #5

Thirteen Things about South Carolina Mom 13 Reasons to live in SC. . . 1. Mild winters- it only snows about 1 time per year (unless, of course, you live in the mountains, although I don’t know how much snow even falls there). The average temperature hovers around 50 degrees Fahrenheit. On a cold day, it may drop into the low 40s. On a really cold day, it may be in the 30s, but those are few and far between. 2. Hot summers- summer is my favorite time of year. I love to swim, as do my kids, so we spend a lot of time in our pool. We also like to travel to the beach (we went 3 times last summer!) 3. Friendly people- most everyone waves as you drive down the street. Also, gathering in the warm summer evenings on the front porch is common and a great way to meet new people. 4. Sweet tea- I know you can get this in any Southern state, but I live in SC and that’s why it’s on my list! 5. Peaches and Strawberries- these are the main fruits grown in the part of the state where I reside. I love fr...

6 years in 10 minutes

It has been almost 3 years since my youngest was born, and about that same time, my life drastically changed. My older children at the time were 14, 12, 10, 8, and 7. My oldest was finally old enough and responsible enough to babysit. Now, to be clear, I didn't leave all of the children with him, but it was nice to be able to run errands and not have to take EVERYONE. That little fact was seriously life-changing. Additionally, my older children had acquired more responsibility at home in terms of life skills: they did (still do!) their own laundry, keep up with their rooms, can prepare full meals, and a host of other skills 100% independently. It took so long to get to that point, though, and the time between me being 100% responsible to them being fully responsible was the hard part. Like seriously, if you read back through my previous posts, you will see the struggles I openly shared as a mom and wife. Life ain't easy! And that brings us to now. 2020. My oldest i...