Wednesday, January 9, 2008

A Lifetime of Love

I just read Mimi's latest update on Julian. I am convicted with each update I read. I take my children for granted every day, and I have found myself trying to be more thankful and kind and loving towards them. We are trying to break Ta's habit of wanting someone to lay with him until he falls asleep. We want him to be an independent sleeper. Well, the past 2 nights I haven't stuck to my guns. I've laid with him, talked with him, hugged and kissed him until he couldn't stand it anymore. Then I kiss him one more time before taking my post until he's asleep. His last images before he drifts off to dreamland are me standing at his door. Speaking only for myself, I guess I just realized I was being selfish by wanting to hurry up and get downstairs. I know, I know. I do need some time alone with just TJ, but at the same time, my kids are growing so fast and soon they won't need me to lay with them, let alone want me to. I think this is another meaning behind A Lifetime of Love. Anyway, here is the latest update on Julian copied from his Care Page. It was written last night, and I will be surprised if he made through the night. Please pray for this family, as the Lord wakes me several times a night to pray for them. . .

So ,how did we get here? Here it is January 8th 2008 (wow 2008??) , our family of 6 humans,1 cat, 2 dogs, 3 lizards and a bunny is about to be amputated of one of its main limbs.The rest of the body won't ever work the same. Unlike the lizards and their tails, we all know it WILL NOT grow back. The wound itself will heal but something will always be missing. The body will have to find a new balance, and for sure lean on something for support... A friend? or two? try thousands!!! For sure we will need a rock. This rock , I have personally grown to rely on more and more along this journey . Long ago ,I believed rocks were just an annoyance on a soccer field,they made you trip, you skinned and bruised your knees on them,and they could send you to the hospital if you got one thrown at you! Just a matter of perspective. Then this Psalm just keeps floating in my head since Chris brought it up in Sunday school... "Find rest, O my soul in God alone, my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress, I shall not be shaken. My salvation and my honour depend on God, He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge"Ps 62:5-8 God is my rock...What a concept... Strong, unshakable,unbreakable, what an amazing support to lean on when you are the most broken! HE can be strong and unshakable for me, and caring, loving and gentle for Julian. Who else can bring you such peace and comfort? For those who have been following Julian ,I hope that if anything,you turned to HIM for support or even it made your faith stronger than ever. I am afraid that with Julian not being healed on this earth ,it will bring anger to some hearts and God will be blamed. God, the one who let me have 4 beautiful boys, the One who gave Julian such a beautiful and amazing soul,God , who gave me the strength ,patience and wisdom to get thru every single day of this journey so I could care for Julian, his brothers and still be able to share my little king with you all...So thank God for our little King,thank God for what he has taught us and is still teaching us daily (that you don't have to be big to be brave),thank God for His will to share this little guy with us...I know I thank God for Julian and for his brothers... Good night... Mimi

1 Shared with Me:

jenn said...

I still lay with brandi every night until she falls asleep. She wants me there, and I love to do it. Sure, there are other things I can be doing. But being able to lay and read with her, (she is now reading to me!) then lay beside her as she falls asleep, is priceless to me. I know one day she won't need me to, but I hope she will still want me to.