Thursday, May 24, 2007

Forgiveness

1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins."

Today was a bad day for me as a mother. I can’t even say I “lost” my patience because that would imply I had patience to begin with- I didn’t. I was immediately convicted as soon as my mouth shut. I apologized for all the times I angrily lost my self-control, but I know words hurt the heart more than anything. While waiting for TJ to get home, the kids and I were playing in the backyard as usual. We heard sirens, and I looked at my watch and noticed it was 5:30. Bad thoughts and panic set in, and I frantically began calling TJ on his cell phone. No answer, of course! I waited 5 more minutes before calling again. During that time, I prayed that God would forgive me for my bad attitude today, especially toward my children.

I sometimes need moments like this to help me gain my perspective back. It’s funny- I was thinking if something horrible did happen to TJ on the way home, I wanted to take a picture of my house and yard so I could remember it how he left it since it would never look that way again. TJ has a couple of unfinished projects in the yard, and I’m not sure why I was thinking about them. I called him again and still no answer. I was really getting concerned now. If he’s going to be late, he always calls or emails. I hadn’t heard anything. . . He called about a minute later and said he was on our street.

To add to the drama of my emotions, I wasn’t really feeling the meal I had planned for tonight. We have had chicken every night this week, and tonight’s meal was no different. TJ was willing to have fast-food but we couldn’t decide where to go. He was going to take the boys and leave me and the baby home so I could have a little break. At the last minute I decided to go with him. We pulled out of the drive at 6:17. We ran to the bank and then decided on Hardee’s. We haven’t eaten there in over a year. We pulled into the parking lot and TJ made a comment about it looking “dead” because there was no one in line in the drive-thru. He asked if I wanted to go somewhere else instead. I said no since we were there already. We order and pull around to the window. There is a car in front of us. The baby is screaming and Ta is getting restless. TJ began fooling around with the CD in the CD player, and I was rubbing T.G.'s face. Neither of us are paying attention. . . BAM!

We both looked at each, then at the kids. An older woman hit us from behind and was wedged between our van and Hardee’s. We were all okay, but needless to say, it has been an eventful day and night. We got home at 7:30. It’s a good thing I went with him. After the crash, we had to wait for the police and the kids were a little nervous, especially Th. He teared up when it first happened, but I reassured him that everything was okay. The Lord used the crash to remind me that He is in control of all things. I really feel horrible for the way I treated my kids today, and I pray tomorrow is a better day for me. . .

2 Shared with Me:

Carole said...

So glad that you guys are okay. I have too had my moments where I get to evaluate where I am...and kind of change my course. There is alot of grace in that. I haven't thought about Hardee's for years...wish we had one up here.
~Carole

Jenn said...

I'm so glad everyone is okay. I hope you have a better day tomorrow!